I had been pulled aside by previous brides and warned about it but I had never thought it would happen to me. I had put in down to people who had a combination of long engagements and/or bridezilla like tendencies.
But now I'm ready to confess. Over the last week it's hit me with a vengeance.
I hate our wedding.
Don't get me wrong. I love my fiance. Love that I'm marrying him. Completely ready to spend the rest of my life with him. But our wedding? Completely, totally, utterly, over it.
Last night Josh and I went out for dinner, ostensibly to have a break from the big W. All we ended up doing was paying someone else to cook a meal for us while we fought about the final nit picky details.
The songs. The order of the service. Our parents meeting. There was sulking, pouting, tears and tense silence. And that was just me. Yes, I'm 27 years old and I can still pout with the best three year old out there. Especially when it comes to things that four months ago I said I didn't care about, but actually, guess what? That only meant I didn't care about them if you picked the same things that I would have, but since you haven't, I really care!
The longest, and most intense conversation was about our parents meeting (which they haven't before). Josh's family doesn't fly in until early the morning before our wedding (as in 1am) so we just have the day before to sort something out.
I was thinking a nice casual coffee. Somewhere nice and central where everyone can just show up, have a drink and meet, before we get on with the 101 other things we have to do that day. Deep meaningful conversation is what the rehearsal dinner is for, or so I thought.
Josh decided he wants to host a breakfast at our house. An affair that quickly reached 20+ people. We talked about it for about half an hour, both of us getting more and more frustrated with each other as the other person makes absolutely no sense to us.
Then I was walking to work this morning and I had a revelation.
We think about things completely differently.
COMPLETELY.
It's not like I wasn't aware of it previously, but I suddenly realised the full extent of it.
It looks something like this:
Josh: Josh in an apron standing over a bbq frying bacon and eggs. People arrive, people talk, people go.
Kara: Josh's family flies in at 1am which means they aren't going to get to bed before 2am? How on earth are we going to get them at our house by 9am? And they generally don't run to time anyway, and we have a tight schedule already on Wednesday to get everything done, and they don't have rental cars so how are we going to get them all to and from our house? And we have to be at Erskine at 10am to drop everything off, and if they're running late then I'll (and my Mum and sisters) pretty much be leaving before we even start eating which will look really rude, and we don't even have that many plates and that's 20 peoples' worth of food that I have to buy and clean up after, and who's going to clean up if I have to leave before people are finished? and from Erskine we have to go to the florist and from the florist we have to go to the suit fitting which is going to take like two hours because none of the groomsmen are from NZ and from the suit fitting we have to go to the rehearsal and from rehearsal we have to go to the dinner. And if they haven't cleaned up properly and I'm going to get home from my rehearsal dinner and spend the night before my wedding cleaning my house because the landlord is coming to stay and paint the lounge while we're on our honeymoon!
Hence our big issues last night: Josh - why is she freaking out, this is not a big deal? Kara - AAAARGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So yes blogger world I have run out of wedding grace. I do not want to have another conversation about seating plans, songs, orders of service, shoes, dresses that don't fit, seating plans, seating plans, runsheets or the logistics of our wedding. Ever again.
I. Just. Want. To. Get. Married.
Can anyone else relate?
5 comments:
Holla! We were over our wedding before it began. Ergo it was a very subdued affair. I just wanted to be married to him already--and if we got to have a chill party too...bonus!
But it is as you say. Families get involved, pressure builds, and then things boil over.
Just try to explain your hesitation to him. Maybe there's a compromise. Perhaps you can all go for a longish brunch in a resto. That way, the cleaning up stuff is removed and if you need to sneak away to do other things, those who want to linger can.
You'll make it lady. You're almost there.
Oh Kara welcome to married life!!! Guys and details - just isn't going to happen - at least not with my husband!!!
To add to our wedding madness 2 weeks before our big day we decided to buy a house!!!! Talk about stress and craziness - house buying, last minute wedding stuff, family arriving from overseas - it was fun - haha not much! However we survived and lets just say by the time the wedding was over we were hanging out for our honeymoon and getting to enjoy us time!
No, can't really relate. But I'm sorry it's been tough. I bet this will pass over ASAP!
This means you're ready! When it's all fun and dreams and diamonds, weddings are super-fun. But when you really get into the thick of it, they're a huge pain in the butt. And by the time they come around, you're just so excited to be done with it all that perfect flowers and dresses and appetizers just don't matter anymore, and that's when you know it's really almost time.
At least, that's my theory. It's also why I am marred to Wayne for life. I am never going through that madness again!
LOL definitely ready. More than ready, let's skip Christmas and get this party started!!
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